Would You Hire a Friend to Sell Your House?

December 23rd, 2009 by Kim Moldofsky in Have I Got a House for You

“Don’t do business with someone you wouldn’t feel comfortable suing,” my cousin, a successful businessman, once advised me. I think he was being cheeky, but there’s some truth to his words. It can be awkward to enter into professional relationships with friends.

Things don’t always go as planned, sometimes because of outside influences and sometimes because the person you trusted to bring their A game, left it behind. Working together, especially on something as personal, intimidating, and expensive as a house purchase or sale can bring a lot of tension and frustration to a relationship.

To be clear, I’ve never been party to a lawsuit (well, there was that class action suit against the airlines in the 1990s…), I just think sometimes boundaries can be a good thing. I’d hate to wind up in a situation that ruins a friendship even if it doesn’t include court time and lawyer’s fees.

Sure, in an ideal situation, it’d be great to have that large commission go into a friend’s bank account, but the process of buying and selling a house is fraught with emotional and logistical pitfalls, if something goes wrong, if the deal doesn’t close as expected, does that close the door on a friendship?

The fact that Kim Tracy Prince and I have both written about and continue to ponder the agent relationship indicates to me that this is an important issue, and potentially a tricky one.

What do you think? Would you hire a friend to help you buy or sell a house?

Agents, what are your thoughts? Do you like to help out friends and family? (And then do they expect commission discounts? Do you voluntarily cut your fees? Is there a simmering lifelong resentment if you don’t? Is there a simmering lifelong resentment if they don’t hire you? See? It’s complicated right from the start.)

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  • susan
    If you really trust the friend and you hire them based on their skills and professionalism then there is no one that will do a better job for you. If you are inclined to blame your agent if somthing goes differently than planned , because it always does, then you risk losing your friendship. Communication is the most important aspect of any agent client relationship, don't be afraid to talk to your friend about your concerns. If they are a true friend then you should be able to work it out.
  • adrienne_babytoolkit
    We bought our first house with a top-rate stranger. We sold that house through a friend's wife and I really regretted it. Familiarity made the whole situation far more complicated. It was not a great day when my mild-mannered husband said, "YOU work for US, and this is what we want" when she wanted to argue against our position on the terms of a sale.

    I really regret not sticking with our first agent. She was top-notch, and I then felt like my tiny little house would not have merited her attention. In retrospect, I most likely underestimated her and I wish I had at least called her before signing with someone else.
  • RL Julia
    I don't lend friends money inless I am o.k. to never see a penny of it again and won't hold it against them. A house is a lot of money to put in a friend's hands. I guess I would ask myself, am I comfortable with the idea of losing this friendship if something doesn't work out. If not, get yourself a realtor who can become your friend. What is best for a business is not always best for a friendship. On the other hand, if your relationship with this person trumps money, then go ahead. On the other hand, if you friend is like Vanessa and really has her act together and has handled other friend's houses successfully, and you are willing to put in the time to have practically another spouse in terms of keeping lines of communication open and etc... then it could work out. All in all, it is probably easier to just get someone else who you don't know as well.
  • It never goes according to plan. There is something that always comes up and instead of being able to deal with it on a professional level, you now have a relationship with a friend (as well as your house and their income) on the line. DON'T DO IT!
  • Yeah, that's what my gut tells me!
  • I have heard this argument time and time again, and will counsel friends and family long and hard before working with them. I let them know the hard facts up front and continue to counsel throughout the transaction, keeping the relationship very businesslike, no specials. I service all my clients the same way and so far so good. The interesting this is that most of my dearest and closest friends here in NY were made when I either found them a home or sold their home and found another for them.
  • Given the amount of time some clients spend with their agents, I can see a relationship blooming. But I can also see a relationship crumbling if things don't go well. I'm glad you've had success with this. It's great that you start with a solid talk before embarking on the friend/client relationship.
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